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FYI.  This is me.

Big time.  I’m used to juggling multiple projects, doing this, doing that, even if I’m feeling run down, but sometimes, tossing in a few extra things…well, that’s all it takes to bring down a house of cards.

One or two things hit my house of cards over the past few days and I felt like I was about to buckle.

Now, they probably seem like small things–and looking back in a few days, a few weeks, a few months, I might even see them as insignificant.  But the way I work, if I focus on the big crap…well, then my brain explodes.

I get through the stressful times by tackling the big stuff, and dealing with as many of the small things as I can.  But sometimes, those small things just keep coming.  And coming.  And coming.  The big things–Nationals, getting a proposal turned in, the medical problems, followed by a surgery, then another issue within my family, and while I don’t regret throwing a last minute thing in, I’m also going to Dragon Con this year, so now I’m planning for that- my daughter starting middle school.

Then there were the small things–getting three kids ready for school, the various medical appts required for all the crap I’m dealing with, some training seminar I had to attend since I’m still technically a nurse, edits, cover crap, promo crap-this list is endless.

And the small stuff…it keeps coming…and coming, and coming, and some of it was getting more and more frustrating.

It doesn’t help that I’ve been unable to work out for the past week or… um…engage in matters of personal nature with my husband because of the surgery.  The best stress relievers ever and you can’t indulge.

But the weekend rolled around, I wasn’t hurting as much-some stress relief was achieved.  Doctor released me.  I started running.  Some stress relief was achieved.

Which means I was able to think my way through those stumbling blocks that have been stressing me out.

And I made a decision…or rather, I figured something out-something that’s actually glaringly obvious.

I’m only one person.

I can only do so much.  Now I can juggle a lot and I usually do.  But if it’s to the point that I’m freaking out?  Something’s gotta give.

So I’ve set some work goals.  They are my professional focus right now.

A book that is contractually due by a certain time is my focus.  Another focus is a project that is literally eating my brain alive to the point that I often can’t sleep for thoughts of it.

Another focus…a break. I desperately need it.  If I don’t get a few weeks off that don’t revolve around busting my ass to get XXXX words written every day, I’m going to burn out.

Right now, those are the goals.

This doesn’t mean I’ll stop working on other projects or anything, but I am giving myself permission to stop spazzing over it, because spazzing over it isn’t helping me.