I think I need a break.

I was getting ready for a funeral today, trying to get some stuff done, eyed twitter, saw some news there…and I realized…I’m tired.

I’ve discussed before that I had issues with depression and it’s getting a leg up on me.  It’s been dragging at me most of the summer and I’ve been gritting my teeth, trying to ride it out.  It’s not happening.  It’s trying to get the better of me. I won’t let it but it’s time to cut back on some of the things that tend to tie me up.

Everybody has their own different triggers, their own ways of coping…some of my best coping skills are via my books and it’s always been that way.  Some of my worst issues have always worked their way  into my books, although they are twisted in ways you probably wouldn’t recognize, unless I explained it.

So I’m cutting back on some of the things that pull me that far away–or maybe I should say, the things that draw me that much inside myself, so twisted up that all I can hear is that noise and I can’t focus on the good things.  I can’t focus on the right things. I can’t see things as they are, just the twisted mess that my brain is presenting to me.

So I’m taking a time-out.  I’m not blogging as regularly as I used to, just a couple times a week, so that won’t change much.  My facebook page isn’t going anywhere, but I don’t get lost there like I do on twitter.  That’s where I get obsessive and too often, very lost.

I’m debating on whether or not to shut it down altogether. For now,  I’ve cut down my follows – I looked at it earlier and it was…easy.  Or easier.  Now I’m going to take a break and see if that helps.  If it doesn’t, I might just shut it down or go all emergency puppies all the time.

And…don’t take this personally, but I’m not opening comments.  Usually when I mention depression, people leave well-meaning comments, but some things are the exact wrong thing to say and frankly, I’m not up to handling the well-meaning comments that people often make that often just make me feel worse.  I appreciate the good intentions…I just need to get level first.